SUICIDAL.

14th day of April

I started thinkin’ about a presence for him for this day... But I end up with nothing. :(

Today is his 18th birthday.

This guy is so strong. I admire him, his personality of enduring all the pains within.

I like him for being a man of few words and loves him for who he is.

I greeted him warmly through YM. :) Then texted him and started saying sweet things just to let him know that I’m thankful to have in my life ... to have a wonderful guy and a one of a kind boyfriend.

He is my life. I don’t want to lose him.

The first thing I did in the morning was to greet him, again. I told him to just come here in house if he wouldn't mind so that I could greet him personally (without forcing him.:]) When he arrived, I let him sat on the swing.. After minutes, after some chit-chats and everything, my mom called me up inside (just asking a favour.) and so I told my guy to just hang up and wait for me ... (IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY! GOD..WHY AM I LETTING HIM WAIT? :]]]) That was thrice when I went in and out our house just to follow my mom... Then I went back to the swing and asked him,

"Ano ang handa mo?" he was like thinking of it and answered,

"Wala nga eh, sabi nila kapag 21 nalang daw ako (laughing)." And then I said,

"Ano ba yan, kawawa ka naman..hindi ka na mahal sa inyo! Wala man lang kahit Pancit Canton! hahaha.."

On the 4th call of my mom, I really felt sorry for him since my mom keeps on disturbing me! rarr! haha.. It’s just because she just can’t do things without me (lol). I went inside our house, grabbed the cake that I bought the night before, opened the candle and whoa ... ready for my surprise! :)) I walked out from our back door, holding up a box (of course with a cake in it) then walked silently until I reached him. It seems like I really paced too silent enough for him not to hear my steps in a cozy afternoon, haha! I wonder why am I teary-eyed that time :'(, maybe because the cake was just too heavy for me to carry it..hahaha..

I breathe in then uttered the line, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALDRIN." He turned back and was (maybe) surprised! HAHA. I told him to make a wish and blow the candle...and so he did. He was speechless that time, couldn't say anything but, "THANK YOU". Deep within me, I was really touched with what I did! That deed was something that I also want to experience some time! hahah. TRUE!.XD (My classmates and my mom already did it when I was in 3rdyr hs. That was really a surprise, party pa! lol).

My reaction? IYAK-TAWA...HAHAHA! Plus a bit of "PITY-ME-LOOK", why? cause the night before, I was really longing, smelling the cake when I bought it! I WAS CRAVING FOR IT! hahahahah! .. We talked again, had our unending stories and moments... (YIHAY!) To my surprise, he asked me if I want to eat it with him, my heart was beating fast that time… not because of the sweetness but of his question! Guess what I said? "Hindi, iuwi mo nalang sa inyo.." (maryosep! ano ba naman ang pumasok sa isip ko para sabihin ang linyang 'yon gayong alam ko sa sarili ko na gusto ko non! GUSTO KO NG CAKE!) HAHAHAAH! I thought that he could read my eyes... my mind saying, “last na alok na,kukuha nako ng kutsilyo..” lol! But he didn't..huhuhuhuh..:(( But it's ok, at least I made him happy that time. Happy in a way of unexpected moments that (I know) he will always remember as he gets older...whenever...wherever...every 14th day of April.



Til before that day ends, he texted me again.. "Natouch talaga ako, alam mo yung ginawa mo kanina, parang nagbigay siya ng light para mapakita sa akin ung lahat ng mga nagawa mo para sa akin.. I love you so much!" (I love you,too!:]) right after the message, received another one again.. "Hay, I really won't forget my 18th birthday because of you." (Awww.)

See! He won’t forget the act that I did for him! He read my mind… but he didn’t when I was asking for another chance (on my mind lang). Yeah, another chance for him to ask me eat the cake with him..lol!


Lesson: Make other people happy... But never expect anything in return. (Kundi, suicidal na itechhh!) :)))

By the way, the cake was labeled: Happy birthday, Aldrin! (with a smiley in it) Love, Anne (and a heart at the end..<3)>

He's everything to me..

Call it a day.

Yeah! A great one.

Awesomme. I didn't get tired for te past hours! (malamang andito lang naman ako sa bahay!:))) Anyways, I woke up this morning with a smile on my face..Its as if Im not thinking of anything but my own self..my own happiness... @10 am, Aldrin and I went to the church.. Mejo namiss ko siya, kasi 15 hours ko siya hindi nakita..hahaha! Actually, I wasnt able to hear the mass keenly..hahaha!kasi mejo nagkadaldalan kami ng onti..(BADDD!!!!) but on the other hand ,also had a background naman with the homily..:)))Natatawa ako kay Aldrin kasi iba un behavior nya dat time..para siyang bata..he smiles at nothing! ahahaha! After the mass, we went home.. You know what, he is better than before. He spends most of his time with me..and that's what makes me feel secure.. un presence nya. Lunch time! then I slept for an hour din ata. 1.30pm naman He texted me that he will be coming here in our house by 2pm.. And so, I told him just to call me when he's at our gate already. When he arrived, he's bringing a plastic bag.. Yun pala un mga damit ko na nilabhan nya a month ago!hahahah! He dowloaded some programs for my laptop (di ko alam kung anu-anu un.:]) and downloaded some movies na din. We watched I am Legend and Beethoven.. Had some little arguements for the scenes kasi medyo vague padin ang dating even if we watched it na for many times na. We enjoy every moment kasi both of us are..are..basta un na un! :)) Then yun lang..hahah! We ate cupcakes for merienda.. had an unending chit.chat with him.. And so on...

Right now, I feel so blissful having him with me..here in my life. It feels like we're really in the state of fulfilling everything in our relationship.. Though there are times wherein we both need to adjust with a thing.. Un thing na inevitable tlga dumating between both of you. Magkaron man ng pains and sufferings, still intact padin kayo dapat.. In short, just think of it as parang under maintenance nalang.. Kasi in the end, as you both walk along through life, you'll have the feeling of security in your relationship. All the things that happened will be fair padin.. Sometimes, you have to wait for the right time para mag-work out and mag-grow..:)


When there's love, there is no tiring.. You'll be waiting until the light comes up between you two...<3

Damn it!

There is this something that runs around my heaadd! It keeps me fallin down...all over again.. Yun pala un problem ko.. Knowing that I can do nothing about it...NOTHING! but just to wait for the right time. Its as if im the villain in the story.. As if Im always the bad thing that happened in his life. I believe not.. Kung alam lang nila... And that what hurts alot ,folk.. I have to understand them! DAMN IT! Why cant they??? For God's sake! Sa konting pag-unawa.. matured people cant give it pa? Oh maybe that's what they're calling as PRIDE. Yeah,maybe..I dont know.. And I dont even care.. I think all of this are happening for a certain reason.. But there's only one thing that I assure you, I AM NOT BAD. true.. As if others know me by heart for the to judge me.. Hopefully people wouldn't let there children face the consequences alone.. That "they" as parenst should have a big part in their youngs' lives..